The 1989 family filmLook Who’s Talkingdemonstrated the appeal of a goodcomedygimmick if done correctly. The television show it spawned,Baby Talk, exposed all the limitations, selected by critics as the most objectionable TV show for 1991. If you grew up in the'90s, you are probably more than a little familiar with the tried and true TV viewing block called TGIF (Thank Goodness It’s Friday).
The venerable, family-friendly schedule consisted of a lot of various half-hour comedies. Schmaltzy perhaps, they earned extended runs through solid writing and endearing characters, the foundation laid by the classic roster ofFull House,Family Matters, andPerfect Strangers. If you’re wondering what the last show in that four-layer sandwich was on Friday nights on ABC in 1991-92, you’re excused for erasing it from your brain. The actors and ABC execs only wish they could lobotomize themselves to remove that particular memory. It’s a good thingBob Iger’s got a short memorywhen it comes to bungled projects. Let us rekindle your warmest, grainiest, most nostalgic 4:3 memories:
Baby Talk Was Not a Beloved TV Series
Scheming to take advantage of the gravy train, Columbia Pictures Television and formerMary Tyler Moore ShowExecutive Producer Edward Weinberger undertook their own television adaptation to air on the American Broadcasting Company in 1990. They hoped a serializedLook Who’s Talkingcouldrecreate the magic ofM.A.S.H., the landmark CBS sitcom that grew in popularity to overshadow the movie. Tony Danza landed the voice-over role of baby Micky Campbell, the name changed from “Mikey” for reasons unknown. The unofficial star of the show, theTaxialumni provided an impression of Bruce Willis. Danza’s detached one-liners were edited into the show in post-production, the first in a series of issues the show couldn’t address.
Finally succumbing to the chopping block after an undeserved revamp,Baby Talkrepresented everything wrong with ’90s television. Boasting toothless & sanitized writing,predictable tropes and scenarios, incessant backstage drama, canned laughter, and bad movie-to-network adaptations,Baby Talkhad it all — just not solid Nielsen ratings or any continuity. Vintage network programming isn’t so much entertainment as it is an education in nearsighted corporate logic, TV politics, and trend-chasing. It turns out that when the comedic value hinges entirely on the gag of an infant with a Brooklyn accent, the novelty wears off rapidly.
There are far more repulsive licensed concepts to build a show around and far more abominable characters, too. That’s the point. Regardless of the built-in fanbase of the popular movie franchise, a respected producer, likable familiar faces, and gifted a slot in one of the comfiest spots in the 1991 line-up,it still couldn’t move the needle.
Baby Talk Was a TV Show Built on an Already Shaky Foundation
Baby Talkmarked the second of three Amy Heckerling-written films to be translated for a TV format, and it’s easily the crappiest.Columbia sought to profit offLook Who’s Talkingwith a quickly churned-out TV projectthat would coincide with the sequel. How a talking-baby-themed rom-com grossed $297 million worldwide is still hard to grasp. 1989 was a wacky time. What else can we say? The John Travolta,Kirstie Alley sleeper hitspawnedLook Who’s Talking Too, which was released the year this show was supposed to hit the airwaves, 1990. The franchise was already fading in popularity before the TV show debuted.Look Who’s Talking Nowwas released in 1993, a year afterBaby Talkbit the dust, and it’s difficult to gauge if the weekly-televised clunker had any impact on that abysmal final movie, since so few watched either one.
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Reliably listed as one of the lamest sitcoms ever made, there’s a decent number of reasons why this show failed so spectacularly. In defense of the actors and actresses involved and even the writers, it wasn’t their fault.Don’t forget that most show-biz gigs are accepted out of desperation and provide no freedom. The blame for this debacle falls squarely on the shoulders of those hyping, greenlighting, and producing it. From the disastrous pilot to the final episodes,Baby Talkis a case study for aspiring showrunners on how not to manage a TV production. The chaos behind the scenes is, bizarrely enough, way more compelling than anything that was ever authorized to reach the viewing public’s rabbit ears. That’s an antenna, Zoomers.
The Cast and Crew Mutiny in Protest
In a span of two seasons, three separate actresses filled the central role of baby-mama Maggie Campbell. The first choice, Connie Selleca, fell afoul of Weinberger immediately.She fled the set in a near mental breakdown in 1990 and only made it as far as the pilot. Before the show ever aired, she slapped the production company and Weinberger with a $1.5 million lawsuit, accusing Weinberger of abusive treatment. Per anLA Timesreport, the case revolved around the accusation he “verbally abus[ed] Sellecca and denigrat[ed] Sellecca’s rights to creatively participate in the production of the series.” Shooting was delayed until a suitable replacement turned up. Then ABC Entertainment President Bob Iger insisted that everything was fine and things would proceed after Sellecca was jettisoned under suspicious circumstances. Classic Bob.
Julia Duffy filled in, with George Clooney as her co-star. Both had recurring roles in popular shows at the time, more than established in the genre. This was undeniably the low point of their careers.Baby Talkwas delayed again, this time in a bout of buyer’s remorse, pushed back until mid-season.Clooney and Duffy recoiled at the awful material and abandoned the show in disgust. Going into full Titanic-deck-chair-rearranging-mode, the network raced to wipe out all trace of the former iteration of the show,hiring a new cast, but convincing actresses to return their phone calls wasn’t so easy. Duffy was swapped in favor of a younger actress, albeit one with no real star power, Mary Page Keller. She relented until her agent pressured her to take the job, which left the love interest needing to be cast. Scott Baio replaced George Clooney. Trust us, this made some sense in 1991.
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Along with the talent in front of the camera, the show’s producing staff likewise went AWOL. They weren’t being difficult, as evidenced by the fact ABC’s own executives originally were horrified by the material and wanted to bury it.Columbia Pictures didn’t throw in the towel, and amazingly, neither did ABC, which permitted a second season on the power of the film series' clout. Saul Turtletaub stepped in to stem the bleeding, tellingEntertainment Weeklypassive-aggressively, “The show is different. And if it’s still the worst show on the air, I’m sure you’ll let us know.” Despite that inspiring pep talk, the retooling made no difference, yet another crooked tombstone lost in the overgrown graveyard of failed situation comedies.
ABC Sells Branded Banality and Pays the Price
IsBaby Talkaso-bad-that-it’s-goodkind of pleasure? We regretfully must inform you, no. Its true terribleness lurks beneath the surface. Bingeing more than two episodes, you will begin to question your life choices, that is, if you can stay awake.The writing was consistently flat, with nothing to differentiate it from the glut of similar programs that played it safe. From their statements, it’s clear the guys in charge just wanted to stretch it out in order to reach the threshold of episodes (the industry standard used to be 100) necessary to make it to syndication. The ABC executive in charge of prime-time programming admitted it was a dumb idea to theLA Timesbut assured viewers that:
“What we know we have here is this wonderful concept for kids. What we needed was a new adult concept.”
It wasn’t new. Their one-note gimmick falls apart when you realize how stilted and bizarre voice-overs feel spliced among live performers. Since the adults all ignore the children’s lines, which are telepathically delivered to each other, the series is less a real sitcom and more akin to a live-action version of aGarfieldcomic strip, only less interesting and with less character agency. In a desperate attempt to distance itself from the source material in the second season, Turteltaub and company narrowed their focus onto the mother character, the writers and producers getting fed up with the talking-baby shtick.At its core design, the show wasn’t built to last, as babies tend to start speaking coherently around their second birthday anyway.
The aggressive chuckles from the studio audience reeks of anaugmented laugh track, a dated aspect that makes a lot of the shows of the time hard to sit through. These weren’t obstacles that couldn’t be overcome, but as a G-rated sitcom, it was hamstrung from the start. As a family-themed show, it was unable to touch the kind of humor or topics explored in “adult” shows likeSeinfeld, despite sharing storylines of snarky yuppies with dating problems and zany neighbors.
Good luck trying to find this in a box set or streaming. It exists now only as a specter haunting the dankest, remotest fringes of YouTube. Someone cared enough to digitize their favorite VHS childhood memories of Urkel only to see a mulleted George Clooney in a backward baseball cap trying to build rapport with an infant who is little more than a glorified prop.Baby Talksurvives as a curiosity for all the wrong reasons.
