There is simply no one that compares to Ron Swanson. The mustache-toting, government-hating, food-loving, and not-at-all chummy government worker is arguablyone of the funniest characters in all sitcom history. Played to perfection byNick Offerman, Ron Swanson constantly spews out comedy gold and somewhat inspiring quotes that strangely make sense. Ever since thePark and Recreationpilot in 2009, fans instantly fell head over heels for Ron Swanson, who is undoubtedlyone of the best characters in the show, as we secretly all have a little Ron Swanson living in us all. While Ron is anything but chummy, and will find many reasons to moan about something, the hit sitcom still found ways to make fans emotionally connect and care for him.
Throughout the course of the show, we have seen Ron Swanson fight and fall back into a passionate and deadly love with his ex-wife, Tammy 2, on many occasions, travel to London (to his distaste), teach a group of children how to become Swansons, and of course, always demonstrating his love for food, all while spreading his Swanson wisdom with priceless quotes. Here are Ron Swanson’s best quotes, ranked.
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12“Look, a clock, we don’t have that in America.”
Ron is one of the most patriotic characters in sitcom history, and when traveling to London, withLeslie, Ben, Andy and April, Ron wastes no time in displaying his hatred for the UK and his love for the United States of America, in Ron’s own words “Europe is indeed a garbage continent”. Mocking how the country is ruled by a tiny baby and frail old lady, as well as calling the Great British Pound puny compared to the American Dollar. But none was quite as gut-busting as this priceless quote, simply exclaiming how the Big Ben clock tower is unimpressive, and that it’s just a boring old clock.
Lil’ Sebastian is incredibly important and adored by the citizens of Pawnee, to the point where Ben didn’t know what was so special about the horse, and the whole Parks and Rec department began to go crazy. Ron is never one to show emotion, much like the quote suggests, but this again shows how important Lil' Sebastian is to the people of Pawnee, leading to a hilarious, underlying emotion. On the other hand, inthe hilarious episode"Lil' Sebastian", he delivered this brilliant line that will no doubt make you laugh, due to Offerman’s delivery of an absurd, yet amazing line.
This quote brilliantly demonstrates how little Ron cares about other people’s problems and loves nothing more than keeping to himself. While Ron does ultimately care about his co-workers, he would hate nothing more than hearing one of them complain about their own problems.
9“Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
During the utterlyhilarious cold openwhere Ron is teaching a group of young boys the key to being a Swanson, Ron throws many genius and hilarious quotes their way. One of which, examines Ron’s distaste for fish meat, and if anyone knows what’s classified as real meat, it’s meat-loving foodie. Comparing fish meat to a vegetable is simply ridiculous, yet painfully funny.
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8“The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.”
Once again demonstrating his love for America and independence, comes this genius and somewhat poignant quote, which sees Leslie and Anne attempt to tackle the link with Sweetums and obesity in yet another public hearing. This leads to Ron exclaiming this line while furiously stating that America is a free country and people should eat whatever they want.
7“I’m a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.”
While skipping over his love for independence, America, and playing saxophone as his alter-ego Duke Silver, it’s very hard to find a quote quite so simple and straight to the point of explaining Ron’s personality and what drives him in life. Although this quote does also miss out on Ron’s attraction to chaotic and psychotic women, specifically named Tammy.
When the rest of the Parks and Rec employees are away for the day,Andyand Ron bond over their love of meat, where Andy proceeds to introduce Ron to the meat tornado that “literally killed a guy last week”. When it comes to food, Ron will not back down from any challenge, and the fact that it killed someone, peaks Ron’s interest.
5“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skimmed milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk.”
Throughout the course of the show, Ron progressively trashes on food, that shouldn’t be food. For example, when testing food for Ben and Leslie’s wedding, Ron states, “There has been a mistake; you have given me the food my food eats", referring to a salad, and when he was forced to visit Grain’N Simple. Similarly, Ron wastes no time throwing shade at skimmed milk, in a hilarious and unexpected punchline.
4“Fishing relaxes me, it’s like yoga, except I get to kill something”
This line doesn’t reveal anything we didn’t already know about Ron, demonstrating his love for fishing and killing something. But it is a hilarious surprise that Ron uses yoga in such a positive way, especially for someone who despises the activity, and when asked if mental illness runs in the family, Ron swiftly replies with “My uncle does Yoga”.
One of the most surprising and funniest quotes from Ron comes when explaining how he is happier not knowing other people’s business, which leads to another hilarious, sharp, and unexpected punchline. When April is about to tell Ron what is wrong with her and Andy, Ron wastes no time and tells her to stop, as he doesn’t want to know, before exclaiming this priceless and iconic quote.
